As Australians gear up for another RUOK? Day, an annual event we symbolise as a time to enquire about our mental health, there is also an opportunity go deeper, according to award-winning speaker Matt Runnalls.
Runnalls, 32, came from a “beautiful home with loving parents” in Warragul but found himself trapped on a downward spiral triggered by the suicides of 10 of his mates.
Rejected in school and abused in his plumbing apprenticeship Matt started a cycle of self-loathing: “feeling like a burden to everyone, worthless and without value” he said. Seemingly unable to halt his trajectory, Matt eventually found himself homeless on the Gold Coast until an alcoholic mum-of-five named Aurora took him in and started a personal rebuild that changed his life.
Now, a decade later, Matt’s message is a powerful yet confronting call for people to dig deeper in their efforts to connect and support others. His book Nobody Can Save Me is an international best seller on Amazon and his authentic speaking style and content has reached more than three million people since 2014.
Last week he was in Korumburra speaking to the team at GEM Industrial, a Leongatha-based business employing more than 20 full-time staff and with management keen to explore ways it can support its team which often involves employees working remotely for months at a time.
“We felt it was important to give our team the tools to be able to express ways in which can we support each other better,” said Managing Director Darren Chandler.
“Matt’s inspiring messages showed our team that’s it okay to not be okay. That vulnerability is not a weakness, it’s an opportunity to learn more about each other and to be able to listen to each other more.”
Through a series of challenging group activities Matt forces vulnerabilities to the surface, making them known to each other in a way that cannot really be shared without asking for more detail. “Are you okay?” Matt says, isn’t an engaging enough question. “Tell me how you are feeling about your yourself this week engages people more accurately,” he says.
“And if you can listen long enough you will see the difference it can make in people.”
Hope and action are the keys to Matt’s success but at the centre of everything is his simple message that people want to be heard, loved, valued and connected.
“We are all wired for love, belonging and connection. We want to be loved, to be seen, to be heard. Authenticity is a big part of that. I want to create a world where people feel more comfortable to share who they are without any shame, fear or stigma,” he said.
“(My story) is one for teachers in every setting: schoolteachers, parents, bosses, coaches, mentors everywhere of any age that have the welfare of others in their hands, even for a short time, because every single moment of interaction adds to a person’s story about themselves.”
The team at GEM went further during this important get together; presenting staff with workwear made by Australian enterprise TradeMutt – a business which develops loud and proud work shirts to highlight the importance of suicide prevention in Australia.
“Our loud and vibrant shirts act as a catalyst to starting the conversation around mental health in men, a topic that has been hard to approach in the past for blokes, mostly due to the attached stigmas and perceived weakness,” said founder Dan Allen, who also lost his best mate to suicide.
“I believe that true happiness can never be appreciated until we have experienced what it feels like to be at the lowest of lows. Mum always said to me and my brothers “the harder the climb the better the view” and it is only now that I can fully appreciate how wise her words were.”
RUOK Day will be held on Thursday, September 16 and businesses are encouraged to join in the conversation.
According to the RUOK? website “Our research has shown those who are exposed to the RUOK? campaign are up to six times more likely to reach out to someone who might be experiencing personal difficulties, compared to those not exposed to the campaign.”
Those who are engaged with RUOK? campaigns are more likely to ask someone face-to-face if something was troubling them, listen to someone talk about their problems, and refer someone who is troubled to a support service.
“The people in your world won’t always tell you if something’s troubling them, so it’s important that you make asking, ‘are you OK?’ a part of your everyday relationships with friends, family, teammates and colleagues.”
For more information on RUOK Day please visit: https://www.ruok.org.au/
To read more about Matt Runnalls’ work please visit: https://www.mindfullaus.org/
